Sometimes I wonder

Today was a somewhat disheartening day. There is a young lady who did not get to see her baby daughter yesterday and as a result became very upset. Kind of understandable, yet her behavior was not the kind that would get peoples attention except in a negative way. Now I do not believe that is what she was looking to do yet that was the end result. When I heard what happened I spoke with her and said it must have made her sad and understood that feeling. She began to cry and sob and I let her express the feeling in a more appropriate manner than yelling and cursing.
Now she still took her bed for the rest of the day but at least she knew that we knew what was behind the behavior yesterday and we also were able to help her use a new coping skill (crying) to express the feelings
Here once again we found the antecedent and then removed it. The behavior not only ended but she was able to replace it with one that enabled her to get the support she desperately needed and wanted. Now this is not ROCKET SCIENCE yet we still struggle with answering a behavior ( theirs ) with another behavior ( ours ).
Once I began to look at behavior as a form of communication, I was able to begin to understand that what I need to do is find what is driving the behavior and deal with that ( antecedent ).
You don't need to be a parent to understand how she must have felt when she could not see her baby. You just need to understand feelings and not focus on the behaviors. In other words forget the facts sometimes and listen for the feelings. They will guide you as to what to do.
After all, we are here to help and role model. Not levee consequences.