Father's Day

Here it is, father's day and I am sad. Sad because My old man is dead and gone. I am amazed how many things I learned from my old man, things I didn't even know I learned until bang there it was. My dad was not really old but I was really young and what does a young man know about life? He did whatever he needed to do for his family. He worked hard, drank harder and rarely played but when he did he played hardest of all.
I learned right from wrong, truth and compassion from my old man. He taught me to be fair and watch out for those who couldn't watch out for themselves. I never had to wonder if my old man loved me. He loved us all even when we hated him. No strings attached to his love.
Some dad's are not so loving. I thank goodness that I had a dad who was.
My son and daughter called me today to wish me a happy father's day and I felt great.
Have you called your Dad? Do it now.

Tired of living? It's easy to do.

Wild horses couldn't drag me away from you. I look forward to each and every day knowing you are there. How lucky am I? Things are good even when they suck. I don't need a magician to know my future is bright.

Memorial Day

Remember all those in our country's service especially those in harms way.

happy Mother's Day

Hi Mom, Have a great Mother's day.
Have you called your Mother today to tell her how much she means to you?
Do it now!

The Rockettes

I have some wonderful memories of Radio City Music Hall. I was 8 or 9 when My family brought us to see the Christmas spectacular and I was amazed at all that I saw. Animals and people on stage and the whole Christmas theme just blew my mind. Then the "Rockettes" came on stage and that was all she wrote! They were and continue to be just beyond words. Their costumes and their precision are something to behold. My favorite was always the march of the wooden soldiers. Watching them fall one by one was a sight to behold and one that remains with me to this day.
My family went to the Easter show a few years later but that first visit is the one I will always remember.
When my children were about the same age we took them to witness the spectacular for themselves and I was able to witness the wonder all over again thru their eyes. My children are grown now but we still talk about the Spectacular from time to time especially around Christmas and Easter.
I was listening to NPR yesterday and heard that there are auditions for the Rockettes yesterday and call backs today. Good luck to all those who dream of becoming a "Rockettes".

R and R

Oh my goodness how I need some rest and relaxation! The world is going way too fast and I just need to get off for a short time. You know how it is sometimes you just want to veg and slide into another reality. I need to just not think for awhile. So until my brain kicks back into think mode I am gone.

Here comes the Sun

Today as I walked ouside I chanced to look up and there it was, right there where it belongs doing what it does best. Yes the Sun was shinning brightly and I could feel it's warmth on my otherwise cold face. to quote the beatles "little darling it feels like a long cold lonely winter, it feels like years since you've been here". Welcome back I missed you!

In Memoriam

I want to extend my deepest sympathies to the students and families of Virginia Tech.

Rainy day

The world has gone crazy! Weather, seasons, and people all crazy!

Blogs Unite Against Iraq War

"One Million Blogs for Peace" movement began on Iraq War's fourth anniversary with 217 blogs. They hope to have 1,000,000 strong by the fifth anniversary.



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Easter

Easter is almost here and I hope everyone has a safe and happy Holiday.
May the chocolate bunnies and the jelly beans be calorie free and may you Easter eggs be as colorful as the rainbow.
If you remember pause a moment as think of those serving our country to preserve our freedoms.

I -vs- We

Language can be confusing at times. Have you ever listened to someone who was responding to a question that you thought had a simple answer and were shocked to learn it was not so simple after all? What about trying to get answer to who was responsible for something? I have noticed the all of a sudden I begin to hear a very passive "we" instead of "I".
I struggle we responsibility at times, we( see I did it here) all do for many different reasons but in general I do own what I do. How easy it is to use the passive "we" to hide ourselves when confronted with our actions. I was listening to Public radio today and almost every politician used "we" instead of I when answering questions of any kind, never mind the questions asking who was at fault. It seems the only time our elected officials use "I" is when they want our vote and then it seems they lose the "I" and go back to the "we" after the election.
Now that the 2008 presidential election has started I will be interested in how those seeking election choose their words. Will they use I or we? Time will tell and we have almost a year and a half until the election.

A day of rest and a day of work

Sundays have always been a day to sleep in and then have brunch with friends. My parents were not much on Brunch. As a kid I had to go to church at 8am each Sunday or there would be hell to pay Monday when the nuns would ask why I was absent. Believe me there was no good answer to that question.
After Mass my mom would cook breakfast for all of us. Eggs, bacon, sausage, rolls, butter and assorted jams and jellies coffee for my dad and mom, the kids got milk. The conversation was very brief and usually restricted to sports. Dad was a Yankee fan. A big Yankee fan! So as you might guess I am a huge Yankee fan.
When I was young we spent the day pouring over the newspaper my parents reading the news and my siblings and I reading the funny pages. Then the games would come on the radio and after 1959 TV. We also went to Yankee stadium many a Sunday to watch the Yankees play ball. Most Sundays mom would head to the kitchen to begin Sunday supper as we watched the game. Soon the whole apartment would begin to smell great. I would become distracted by the cooking and wander into the kitchen and help mom peel potatoes and watch as she made bread. As a reward I would get to lick the bowl after she made a cake or some other sweet thing.
I remember my parents having parties with music and dancing. Singing songs from the old country, mostly Irish, sung by men with the sweetest voices I have ever heard. When I was around 12 or 13 guests asked me to sing a song for them and I sang a German song that my mom used to sting as I grew up and I loved. There were lots of kids at the parties and we all sang or danced the entire night. Music was always part of the parties and always sung live by friends and family. These were my first concerts, my first music heroes. I never learned to play an instrument and have always envied those who could. I will sing every once in a great while more for my own enjoyment than those who listen.

Blogs for Peace

If you have a blog please join the growing list here. One million blogs for peace.

Those were the days

My Mom used to cut chicken, chop eggs and spread mayo on the same cutting board with the same knife and no bleach, but we didn't seem to get food poisoning.
My Mom used to defrost hamburger on the counter AND I used to eat it raw sometimes, too. Our school sandwiches were wrapped in wax paper in a brown paper bag, not in icepack coolers, but I can't remember getting e-coli.
Speaking of school, we all said prayers and sang the national anthem, and staying in detention after school caught all sorts of negative attention.
We must have had horribly damaged psyches. What an archaic health system we had then. Remember school nurses? Ours was a Nun.

We played 'king of the hill' on piles of snow left by the Sanitation Department, and when we got hurt, Mom pulled out the 48-cent bottle of Mercurochrome (kids liked it better because it didn't sting like iodine did) and then we got our butt spanked.
Now it's a trip to the emergency room, followed by a 10-day dose of a $49 bottle of antibiotics, and then Mom calls the attorney to sue the City for leaving a horribly vicious pile of snow where it was such a threat.

To top it off, not a single person I knew had ever been told that they were from a dysfunctional family. How could we possibly have known that?

How did we ever survive?

St. Patricks Day

May the Irish hills caress you.
May her lakes and rivers bless you.
May the luck of the Irish enfold you.
May the blessings of Saint Patrick behold you.

I wanna be sedated

Ever get the feeling. It creeps up on you from time to time. One minute your fine then BAM! I wanna be sedated, I want to leave the real world far behind. Wouldn't it be nice. The Ramones had the right idea.

Ten Years After - I'm Going Home (live Woodstock '69)

When I got my orders to "go home" My buddies paid some band to play this song for me. The band did a horrible job but hell I was heading back HOME. I was so happy I cried like a baby. Enough said.

Edmund Fitzgerald

Gordon Lightfoot at his best.

Taking It to the Streets

Remember when?

Days of my Youth

I would listen to Neil Young for hours at a time. I always felt kinda depressed, go figure. I still love his songs and that voice.

Tribute to the Beatles

The greastest band of all time? What do you think?

Pink Floyd

Time

Home Safety

You must see this! This is very scary.

Spring Time

Just when I was starting to think that old man winter was a thing of the past, Bam!
Tomorrows forecast calls for snow and the day after more snow. They say 12 inches when all is said and done. Someone shoot me quick and bury me somewhere sunny,warm and I will be happy!
Here comes the sun... my ass. Here comes that mean old man winter back again making life a little bit harder. Oh well what can you do? Accept the things you can't change and move on.

Blue Grass

1952 Vincent Black Lightning

The year I was born.

A Visit to Smith College

Smith is having their Blub show this week and I thought I would take a peek at the colorful flowers since I am sick and tired of grey and that nasty dirty snow color. I was more than pleased by the colorful flowers. I am ready for Spring to arrive and wash away all this nasty grey snow.









Just a few of the many flowers.If you are near to North Hampton Mass. Drop in to the Smith college Greenhouse. You will be glad you did.

Patti Smith

Patti Smith "You Light Up My Life" on "Kids Are People Too"
Unbelievable!

Missing the point

Protesters unlikely to get day in court
By BOB AUDETTE, Reformer Staff



Tuesday, March 6
BRATTLEBORO -- If protesters who unfurled a "SHUT VY" banner Monday morning at Entergy's headquarters are hoping to get their day in court, they are sadly mistaken.
That was the sentiment expressed by State's Attorney Dan Davis, after the four anti-nuclear protesters were cited by the Brattleboro Police Department for unlawful trespass.

Davis has said in the past -- which he reaffirmed Monday afternoon -- that he has no plans to let the protesters use the overloaded court system as their political soapbox.

"Although it's going down, we have a backlog in our criminal case load in district court," said Davis. It's inappropriate, he said, for the protesters to use the courts as "another forum to make a political statement."

The four -- Elizabeth Wood and Daniel Sicken of Dummerston, Jane Newton of Londonderry and John Ward of Gill, Mass. -- were cited for unlawful trespass, said Lt. Robert Kirkpatrick, the day-shift commander for the local police.

At just past 6 a.m. Monday, the Brattleboro Police Department received a call that people, using ladders, were on the roof.

"We take that seriously," said Kirkpatrick. The four protesters who

hung the banner were arrested and cited for unlawful trespass.
Four police officers responded to the scene, he said, adding all four protesters were arrested without incident.

In the past, anti-nuclear protesters who have been arrested and cited for a variety of infractions -- including trespass and disorderly conduct -- have had their charges quietly dismissed prior to any court dates.

Davis said no action would be taken against seven people who chained themselves to the front gate of the Vermont Yankee nuclear power plant Jan. 23. He said he didn't anticipate that any action would be taken against the four arrested Monday either.

"I'm not going to say there won't be any action taken in the future," said Davis, but based on the facts of these two events, he wouldn't be taking any of the 11 to court.

In October, protesters attempted to unfurl a similar banner, but were unable to get it hung before police arrived.

"I'm not concerned about whether they charge us and take us to court," Wood said, adding that some protesters would use their court dates as an opportunity to speak against the relicensing.

"But I want to get the message out to all the people in Vermont and our state legislators," she said. "Maybe those people up north don't know how we are feeling down here. Hopefully this will help tell them."

"What I am aiming for with civil disobedience is to make the issue more visible around the state," said Wood, who added that most local legislators have let it be known that they are not happy with the relicensing of the power plant.

"We are getting the message across," said Deb Katz, of Citizen Awareness Network, which has helped organize and support protests in the past. She said the unfurling of the banner was just one in a series of actions "to continue to make it clear that this reactor has to shut down."

Katz said the chaining of the protesters and the unfurling of the banner are efforts to raise awareness around the state about the relicensing of the power plant.

"The issue hasn't been on people's radar," she said.

"This sends a strong message," said Sicken. "We feel the plant should be shut down. Why not hang a big banner across the place where all the top executives are allowing this to happen."

Because the regulatory processes that are in place "cannot be counted on to shut down Vermont Yankee," Wood wrote in an e-mail announcing the protest. It's important for people like here to keep awareness at a heightened level.

"I simply don't know what else to do," wrote Newton, in the e-mail. "Right now we are hoping to persuade our Vermont legislature to vote against extending the life of Vermont Yankee for 20 more terrifying years, but the powers of giant corporations are beyond belief and I can't trust our politicians to do the right thing."

Katz said legislators have a chance to both shut down a polluting industry and make Vermont a pioneer in clean energy, "something that their grandchildren will be proud of."

"There is the possibility the Legislature will pass a green energy portfolio this session," said Katz. "Legislators need to think creatively and they need to be accountable."

"If there is no strong public outcry many legislators will see continuing to operate VY as the most expedient solution to Vermont's future energy demand," Wood wrote in her e-mail.

Entergy, which owns and operates the power plant, is in the process of asking the Nuclear Regulatory Commission to extend Vermont Yankee's operating license from 2012 to 2032. The company recently received approval to increase its power output by 20 percent.



This was never about a day in court! This was and continues to always be about shutting down Vermont Yankee Nuclear Power Plant! Keep up the good work.
This is a sad commentary about how the news is reported here in Brattleboro Vermont

Lost

Ricky Ricardo, not the Cuban band leader, was my first best friend. If you were to ask me how we became fast friends I couldn't tell you but we were when I was 11 years old. Ricky was from the Philippines and caught a lot of shit from people because he looked different from some people. To me he was Ricky nothing more or nothing less. We were always together so when people would pick on him they would pick on me. We always had each others back. The streets of New York City could be dangerous but when you had a friend like Ricky you didn’t worry. Ricky and his family moved away after his father died and I lost a true friend to the ever expanding world. I ran into him about 9 years later in Southeast Asia. It appears we were still watching each others back without even knowing it.
I seem to attract some interesting people as friends. Misfits, freaks, lost souls and at times crazy folks would somehow latch onto to me and become friends. Sometimes I didn’t mind but sometimes I just wasn’t their friend and no matter what they were steadfastly mine. I could never be mean to someone on purpose so little by little they kind of grew on me and then somehow became friends. I wouldn't stand people making fun of folks who couldn't defend themselves. Mean people really do suck. We all know someone like that. The person who feels better when they can make someone else feel really bad. I fought many a fight in an attempt to end the injustice but in the end I lost many, the only thing I was able to accomplish is to show those people who had befriended me what it was like to have a real friend.
Maybe that was enough, maybe not. I guess only they can answer that question. I was never one of the misfits but if I were I hope I could have found a friend who was true.

Condoms

Beware Caution proceed at your own risk.....

Pub Manix Interdite aux moins de 16 ans
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Turn and face the change

Today is the last day I will post work related things here I will only use this blog to talk about me and the things that I find important or of interest to me.
For the continuing saga of my job visit here http://crisisinmylife.blogspot.com

Aggression

Aggression scares the crap out of most of us, any kind of aggression. Verbal, physical and psychological aggression is what we encounter each and every day on each and every shift. We attempt to teach staff how to handle aggression in terms of maintaining safety for others and ourselves. Yet we, ourselves, sometimes can never find a way to confront aggression in a way that makes us feel comfortable.
Aggression brings up all kinds of feelings for us. Most of which are fear and pain based making intervening at times problematic at the very least.
Now we must face our own fear when dealing with out of control or escalating people before we can help them to regain control. That is what we do day in and day out.

School's out

Last year at this time Work seemed crazed and you know what, It is still crazed. The energy level is high in the kids and very low with staff. This is a very bad combination. We will try and have things to do but as always crisis is what drive the unit. We will keep our eyes and ears open to the earliest signs of impending crisis and cut it off at the pass so to speak.
Stayed tuned for the continuing saga.

For You

Enjoy the song and know it is for you FM.
Happy Valentine's Day

http://pcdon.com/-NatKingCole-TheVeryThoughtOfYou.wav

Something for you Lovers

Enjoy

Be Mine

Happy Valentine's Day!
Happy cold, wet, snowy Valentine's Day. Beat down the winter drab and wear red, lots and lots of red. Greet your valentine with smiles and laughter, make your own sun. No valentine? No big deal. Do something special for yourself. Do something for someone else. Today is all about loving and being loved. Pass it around. Have only positive interactions with everyone you meet today. Yes even with the ones you don't like as a matter of fact especially with the people you don't like.

Old man winter is getting feisty. I suspect we are facing retribution for all those warm December and January days. Revenge is best served cold, and baby it's cold outside!

Just once I would like a phone call which says, "grab your passport we have an evening flight to...". It happens all the time in the movies. I wish just once it would happen to me.

What are we thinking

What a wild week work was! The place felt completely insane. We struggled to maintain safety each day of the week and we did the best we could yet we lost once or twice along the way. We, the staff, were kicked, punched and assaulted verbally each and every day. I don't know how we do the job we do and more importantly I don't know why we keep coming to work?
I am glad my co-workers do come to work. I could not do this without them. We got through another week and we will begin again tomorrow.

Vermont

Check out this page

http://www.angelfire.com/vt/republicvt/

The Hands have it

check it out

Sometimes out of the haze

Sometimes snatches of forgotten events bubble to the surface, and I grab hold.

I remember my one schoolyard fight and being hauled in front of the principal, a mean Nun, Sister David. My explanation was filled with righteous indignation as I was defending a friend, and the guy bothering her deserved to be hit way harder than I could have possibly hit him. I was ten. The principal agreed, to my amazement, though she thought my technique needed a bit of refining.

If I close my eyes, my mind can bring me back to places far away in distance and time. I remember what each of our apartments looked like and can walk the rooms. For eight years the way to school never changed and each house, each landmark became frozen in my memories. Some houses no longer exist, the store fronts and the old ladies looking out the windows have been gone a long time, but I remember my walk exactly as it was. I visited my old neighborhood awhile back and although things change some things never do. The walk to my grade school is exactly as it was some forty five years ago.

The first movie which scared me was The House on Haunted Hill with Vincent Price. When the skeleton comes out of the screen, I darn near pooped my pants.

I love the fun of remembering.

Super Sunday

Let me say this, "any sunday that I am not working is a super Sunday". All I need is some friends and time off to make the world a happy place. I hope your world is happy and safe this Super Sunday. Watch out for those football fans as they drive home after a few too many drinks.
As the saying goes, "Be careful out there".
Remember somebody loves you and love them right back as much as you can.

"You don't have to suffer to be a poet; adolescence is enough suffering for anyone."

When I was a kid, I liked being in school on dark, snowy days like today. The lights always seemed to make the room feel cozy, and the sound of the muffled wheels was so soothing that everyone seemed to speak in hushed tones, not wanting to spoil the mood. We'd stay inside during recess, and the nun, Sister Raymond, would allow us to walk around the room after lunch to talk with our friends. Girls talked to girls and boys talked to boys. That was the way it was back then.

It wasn't until around the seventh grade that boys could muster enough courage to speak publicly with a girl, and even then it was mostly teasing, the first step into the mysteries of a female-male relationship. In the eighth grade the first of our couples emerged, and the rest of us boiled over with curiosity and a bit of jealousy. We asked for and got all the details, it being just too big to be kept secret. Besides, being the first girl to be in a couple was too huge not to flaunt. She told us, with the voice of experience, about handholding and kissing. We were floored.

But within a short time awe was replaced by ordinary as couple after couple began to emerge. The floodgates of adolescence had been opened by one boy brave enough to ask one girl to the movies who was brave enough to say yes.

I would never want to relive those years, I am still traumatized by both the catholic school era of my life as well as the early exploration of relationships with girls.

Punxsutawney Phil

On each Feb. 2, thousands of people descend on Punxsutawney, a town of 6,100 people about 65 miles northeast of Pittsburgh, to celebrate what had essentially been a German superstition. The Germans believed that if a hibernating animal, in this case one named Phil, cast a shadow Feb. 2 — the Christian holiday of Candlemas — winter would last another six weeks. If no shadow was seen, legend said spring would come early.

Phil did not see his shadow this morning which means folks can expect an early spring instead of six more weeks of winter.

The snow started falling a few hours ago and the forcast is for 5 or 6 inches to fall. Punxsutawney can keep the Damn Rat!

Sunday

Sundays are always a sleepy day for me, it is day four of a five day stretch at work and if I am lucky all will be smooth and I will not be sought out by 9 adolescents to help them feel better about one thing or another. Theses things don't mean much to me but to them it is a matter of life and death. As I am reminded from time to time it's not about me.

New Day, Same Insanity

Well here we are mid week and things are beginning to look and feel better. We all pulled together to ensure every one's safety. Those we serve have begun to deal with their "stuff" in a better manner mostly talking and not acting out. Staff have been able to get more help in the last few days. Management has put an extra staff on to help deal with the needs of those we serve as well as the needs of those of us who work here.
We are in the middle of so many changes and we are all trying to keep our heads above the water. I feel less overwhelmed yet I am still overwhelmed.

A visit to Hell

This past weekend was pure hell at work. Staff did all that was humanly possible to maintain the safety of those we serve and ourselves. After repeated calls to the police and medical staff, they were able to get the unit under control and since then each day things have gotten a bit better yet the stress has been overwhelming to all the staff involved. We have called out once or twice and put further stress on ourselves and co-workers.
What do you do when you feel like there is nothing left to do?
How can you help when you are overwhelmed and over stressed?
Where can you find relief from the trauma of your job?
We attempt to pull together and keep dignity and respect first in all of our dealing with those we serve and as importantly those we work with.
We were able to get past all the incidents without anyone getting hurt physically alas emotional pain is harder to recover from sometimes.
We are all helpers who will not allow ourselves to be helped!

Days gone by

My son and I went to Cooperstown to visit the Baseball hall of fame this weekend. We had a great time there and the drive afforded us time to talk about stuff. We had visited the Hall of fame back in 1995 and he remembered a movie that they showed and sure enough it was still there. The show was different but we had a good time all the same and we decided we would go again in a few years. As we spoke of our first visit I was surprised to hear how fondly he recalled the trip and how much he remembered. He was 5 years old at the time and his sister was also with us. We spent a long weekend at Howe Caverns and the Baseball hall of fame and we had a great time. I found pictures of the trip and I was amazed to see how young both of them were. He is going to be 17 in April and she will be 22 in May.
It was truly amazing to revisit through my sons eyes and memories. This is good, this is very good.

Weekends

Weekends are so short yet at the same time they can last an eternity. When you work Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday with folks that need constant supervision and care you begin to feel empty. I have one day off before I have to go back and face the onslaught of neediness and anger. PTSD is something real and it creeps up on you without you realizing. How does one change staffing patterns to prevent people from becoming traumatized.
A day a week off does not make for a healthy work environment! Stay tuned for updates on this matter. I would be interested to hear any thoughts on this also.

Support

Work was a bit on the crazed side this evening yet we were able to get through the evening without anyone getting hurt or hurting themselves. My co-workers were excellent as usual and made interventions that much easier. We once again were able to support each other and go home feeling positive about what we do.
I believe everyone hates when they feel threatened and those we serve threaten when they feel unsafe. Knowing this helps but one still feels anxious when threatened.
Trauma and stress can be overwhelming sometimes. It is nice to know we can count on one another in times of crisis.

Winter blues

Well looks like winter is still missing in action yet the temperature is beginning to drop. The weather people say we may get some snow next week but you never know.
One can still be blue though and alas I am there! I have always been a bit down during the winter months, a little "SAD" perhaps. Life has changed so much for me in the last few months. I feel like I have be on a long journey and just now returned to myself. I have been very emotional lately and find I am close to tears often. I avoid the radio as the songs can trigger a tear fest. I do my best to stay focused and busy but the best laid plans go right down the drain sometimes.
My son and I have a trip to the Baseball Hall of Fame planned for the end of the month and I look forward to the trip with him. We have not been there in 8 or 9 years so it will be fun.
My daughter is coming back from Ireland this weekend and heading back to school so I will be able to chat more often than the last three weeks. A college senior now I often wonder where the years have gone since I first held her in my arms as a new born?

Time marches forward

Time may change but those I work for surely do not. Today promises to be an emotionally driven evening at work. My co-workers and myself will have our hands full maintaining the safety of all. That is what we do, we co-manage.
11 teen girls, each one looking to have their needs met. Without basic needs being met it is impossible to from healthy relationships. Without healty relationships we can not help co-manage. The cycle continues. The year is new and we are filled with hope.

The winter that never was

OK so what ever happened to winter? Have we finally screwed things up so badly that we went and destroyed an entire season? I feel badly for the polar bears but believe me I feel even worse for us. I don't love winter but I absolutly hate summer and we seem to be heading for hotter summers and warmer winters.
Way to go.......
Stock up on some spf 150.

New Year, Old crap

Whoever said, "what a difference a day makes", was so wrong. Some things never change and although I am hopeful that things will change as of today nothing has changed. Life goes on but time appears to be standing still none the less.
Why do I feel like I am caught in an episode of the " Twilight Zone"?
Damn it's not even cold and it's January in Vermont!
Stay tuned for updates.

Happy New Year

May the new year year bring you happiness and good health.