Soap Box

I sometimes wonder what the noise is all about. My head gets so full of stuff that at times I find it extremely hard to focus on what is really important. So many things seems important when the truth is not many things are. I sometimes just want to scream! What ever happened to common sense? What ever happened to honesty? Why do I find it so hard to tell people what I really think? Do I really care what people think about me... Of course I do but why? Will I be somebody else if people think badly of me? Am I just a coward, hiding behind a mask of indifference?

I just want to give up at times and become like those around me. "Blend in and be safe", that is what that voice in my head keeps telling me. Why can't I just do it? I feel I pay a great deal by not conforming. I really don't like to be on the outside but I must admit I have become comfortable being there. I sit here confused and disheartened...

OK enough of this soap box. There is so much more inside of me but I can't get it out just yet this a start...
any feedback is welcome.